a birthday reflection

Today marks my 27th revolution around the sun.
This marker, while inherently insignificant, is a good reminder to reflect about how the self has fared as a human being.
Here’s a list of the things I’ve learned about life thus far:

Business taught me that there are opportunities everywhere; and spotting those opportunities are easy enough if you want them enough.

Having money taught me the value of financial leverage. How money is not the end, but merely a means.

Failing at work taught me that failing is a necessary pain to understand better; and that the best reaction to failure is in two parts: acceptance, and clear next steps to move forward to do better.

Voraciously reading for leisure taught me how to love learning new ideas and perspectives. And that apparently, this has been my secret weapon in treading life.

Being kind without agenda (pure thoughts, words, and actions) taught me how it is the only principle that is an absolute positive. You can never go wrong with kindness – both to others and to yourself.

Constant reflection and introspection taught me to question why I do what I do, and how I can add real value to the world. It has taught me to not take things as it is, to question, to challenge.

Constant reflection and introspection also taught me that life cannot be predicted, no matter how hard you plan or dream.

Unconditional love for my family taught me how to bite my tongue, how to be patient, how to forgive. That these things that I do to them, they do to me too. And these actions strengthen our love for each other more.

I hope to learn more things in the next revolutions around the sun.
So help me, universe.

How much

How much do i have to pay
for a word, for a poem, for a short story
for your short story in first draft
to hear the sound of your voice
to hear your voice calling my name
What is the price of your kiss
What is the price of happiness
How much is morality really worth
Do the whats weigh more than the whys
Can measurement help rationalize thoughts and actions

mga salita

kagabi hindi ako makatulog
kaya binasa ko uli ang lahat iyong mga tula
at nagpanggap na ako ang dalaga sa mga sinulat mong taludtod
hanggang sa naghalo ang katha sa tunay
at lalong di napawi ang aking antok

thoughts while waiting at cebuana lhuiller

I’m hungry.

This may sound crazy but I love being able to feel hunger. I love the fact that I walked a few kilometers along Doña Soledad earlier to get to Cebuana Lhuiller. It was hot and humid and noisy. But it’s fine. I love living the real human life — getting hungry and dirty and uncomfortable. I love the feeling of groundedness.

Now I’m in this perfect delicate state of being grounded while still being able to buy the wants, if I want them enough.

Thank you, universe. I feel blessed with this healthy body and happy family and friends.

P.S.
It can be a burden to hold these two thoughts in the head: 1) the real world is difficult, and can be harsh for majority of the population, 2)  the self is competent and ambitious enough to help those who have it worse.

So while I’m content with the self, I still need to take action because I know better.

when joy, sorrow, and fear has committed treason

there can only be comfort in numbers
in a calculation in the measurement
of space and time and a non-heuristic
order of the universe

that is what the months are for
to be counted and archived
the pulse rates body temperature
% decrease in words per day
your ETA my ETD
a change in gait
noted and computed accordingly

metrics as proxies for joy, sorrow, and fear
truth in metrics, solace in truth

what?!
i grit my teeth for 4 seconds