April 27, 2010, at Mcdo MOA waiting for 9:30am so I can finally walk to SM and do the song and dance
Yesterday I realized I keep getting the “busy yet bored” feeling. Deconstruction ensues:
The deluge of work I have to deal with is overwhelming that I can’t cope – source of BUSY feeling
But the work is not thrilling enough – source of BORED feeling
The wordsmiths should coin a word for this mood.
Let me fantasize… Here are some of the jobs I dream about…
1. Writer – Writing as an outlet of hypergraphia ~ or translating? Pagaya Bea. But my Filipino is crap.
2. Philosopher – While dressing up for work earlier, I briefly fantasized about being born in the “philosopher’s era”, if there is such thing, and being among them great thinkers. Beautiful profession.
3. Businessman – Most grounded of the fantasy jobs. Effort = Pay-off. No politics, no ass-kissing. But capital is a pre-requisite, which unfortunately I don’t have. Too bad.
4. Creative (Art Director or Copywriter) – I jizz at the thought. But I don’t think I’d do good because I tend to choke.
I wonder what people think of people who publicly write. Is it assumed that people who write have substance, because what else will you write about but ideas…? Well. They could be maudlin diarists who blog like what I’m doing now. Kadiri, I wouldn’t want to be labelled as such but I think I am. Maudlin diarists are at the bottom of the literary food chain because the writings are NOT DESIRABLE for public consumption due to the egocentric / too personal / too intimate nature. And for God’s* sake, it just talks about the daily misadventures of the writer.
*if a God exists, that is.
I finished my coffee already…. But I want to document the idea which purports how everything you do, even the mighty littlest things, is based on what you think are the objectives of your life. For instance, my simplified main objective in life is to live it to the fullest. Thus all actions aim optimization.
(Digression alert) I don’t care about physical chaos though, but I deeply care / I’m super OC about idea structures and systems. Physical chaos could be ignored.
Musing of the day: What if I just write continuously for one week? Will I get sick of it a la Diminising Marginal Utility? Will I be able to make a book by structuring it? If made public, can it be like a performance art? If I were filthy rich, I would like to be a hardcore artist.
Fodder for editing.